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I'm So Upset I Want To Cry - I Wonder How Much Tears Weigh? - You'd Be Pretty If You Were Thin.... [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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I'm So Upset I Want To Cry - I Wonder How Much Tears Weigh? [Apr. 21st, 2004|04:53 pm]
[mood |crusheddevastated]
[music |Maroon 5 - Secret]

How the fuck can you say things like that to a person that has been diagnosed as 'mentally unstable'. I had to go to see my shrink and you know what she fucking said to me? She had the audacity, the sheer cheek to say to me "It doesn't exactly look like you're wasting away" - cue her derigative (right word, spelling?) look/sneer. I could not actually believe my ears. Let me explain briefly - my mother wanted to talk about my 'ED' and so she brought it up after my session, talking about catching me hiding food, etc, and so my fucking doctor says that! I'm so upset; it really actually hurt me. I mean, shit - i'm trying SO hard to lose this weight - its not like i enjoy being fat, and yet she can be so uncaring, knowing that i have major issues with body image/food/weight/and so on.

Anyhow, i haven't posted here for a long time because i've been too ashamed to come on and talk about how much weight i've PUT ON, but here's my stats:

1. Current Height: 5'3
2. Current Weight: 130
3. Current BMI: 20-something (*Normal*)
4. Lowest weight at current height: 118
5. Highest weight at current height: 140
6. Pants size: 12-14 (UK)
7. Top size: 10-12
8. Have you ever been diagnosed with an eating disorder? Not clinically
9. How often do you weigh yourself? every single day, several times a day, heck, an hour
10. Have you cried after weighing yourself/trying on clothes? Yes
11. If you could change any body part(s), what would you choose? I'd change it all
12. What body type do you have: the Fat type? oh, wait, i guess you mean like hourglass, pear, etc?! Well then, Pear (Weight deposits around lower half - and stomach)
13. How happy would you say you are with your body as it is right at this moment? Not
14. Have you been made fun of because of your weight? Actually, No
15. Did it contribute to how you feel about yourself now? -------
16. Does it take you a long time to find something that looks halfway decent on you? That would be to assume i DO find something...
17. If you could snap your fingers and make yourself any weight, what number would you choose? 108, or maybe 99
18. What celebrity, in your opinion, has the perfect body? Angelina Jolie or Kate Moss (so Beautiful)
19. Other than physical appearance, how do you feel about yourself? Pretty shitty
20. Do you think you'd be happier about yourself if you were comfortable with your weight? I Know

<3 xXx Nat xXx <3

[User Picture]From: bluedevil_angel
2004-04-21 03:39 pm (UTC)
I hate it when people, especially people in the medical field rely on someone being visually unpleasant in order for there to be something wrong. It is just so fucked up.
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: kornette
2004-04-22 04:00 am (UTC)
aww *hugs* that's awful, what do they actually get paid for?!!! upsetting people?!
I went to the doctors last year cos my gran was worried i was anorexic, and the doctor phoned me up and was really concerned about what i was eating, yet when i went in to see her in person she was like "oh, you're not that bad, you just need to start eating rice and things" i was like..oh right, so i'm not a cause for your concern anymore cos im a size 10 rather than a 6?
/end of rant hehe.

(Reply) (Thread)
From: solitude07
2004-05-20 12:23 pm (UTC)
we have the same stats except i'm fatter i'm 133 ekkkkkk it's disgusting!
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From: fourteendreams
2004-07-21 11:00 am (UTC)


Back when I tried Weight Watchers, I was told that for my height (5'4") I should aim for 125 lbs. to 135 lbs. because that's a sensible weight for my height. Lowest I ever got was 169 lbs. back in 1992.

Today I weigh 236 lbs. I'm working on getting it down, though I think it's unlikely I'll ever see 135 lbs. I enjoyed 169. I felt pretty good about myself then. It was size 14 (American) sure, but it was regular clothes, nice looking clothes and not off the fat racks. I could finally wander into a store like Fairweather and pick a pair of shorts off the rack and know they'd fit without needing to embarass myself trying them on.

It was a really good feeling and I want to have it again.
(Reply) (Thread)