|Fat Fat Fat Fat Fat
||[Jan. 4th, 2004|12:28 am]
At this exact moment i weigh 8st 13.4lb, 125.4lb. Jesus, talk about massive! I've been doing good though, for the past week or so i've maintained weight at 8st something, which i haven't done for years. But this is just the beginning, i'm still like a freaking elephant! My target weight for the end of the month is 120. I know it's a long time for just five pounds, but i'm kind of stuck in a rut at the moment, so i wanna pace myself with my losing weight. I HATE being fat. It is the most depressing thing in the world. Combine that with suffering from "Clinical Depression", i might as well just try and kill myself (again). But it's okay, because i AM going to lose weight, if it's the last thing i do. It's been fantastic having people tell me i've lost weight - but they keep trying to tell me to eat a "good square meal". F*ck you! Trying to make me even fatter. I haven't exercise in SO long, but i start tomorrow. Plus i'm going back to school which will motivate me to do my Aerobics on Sky Sports at 6am.|
Going to school also means it's a LOT easier to hide what i'm eating or as the case will be NOT eating. Nobody to check if i'm having lunch, and i can just make excuses at dinner, or put it in my pocket. Purging doesn't really work for me so i try not to get to the point where i have to, but sometimes i'm so disgusted with how much i eat, i have to at least TRY.
Until Next Time,